My first baby fed beautifully, nicely spaced, both breasts emptied, sleep through the night, no fuss about what I ate and what I didn’t. When she started on solids, she also started to drink from a cup, her breastmilk consumption went down. By the time she was 10 months old, she was only breastfed in the evening…one evening I said “this is the last time”, her Dad took a few photos to preserve the moment. And that was it. She never took any interest in getting milk from me ever again. My milk gradually reduced but I would still get the tingles when she cried. From this experience I would say: It’s the most natural and beautiful thing I’ve ever done.

Roll up Number Two! Oh and it was different. She left the womb screaming with hunger and however much I gave her it wasn’t enough. After every feed she’d poo her romper-suit full to the shoulders and toes, she’d soak me in milk down to my thighs, she’d throw up down my back. I was fainting with milk production and she wanted MORE. Every half an hour and then she’d scream again and poo and puke and soak me and I’d get the sweats and have to eat and eat to get enough calories to produce yet more milk for her. And then she got thrush and passed it on to me and my nipples swelled up and itched and I had stabbing pains through my breasts and the afterpains as my womb contracted got worse and worse ‘til I had to take painkillers just to get through the day. If I hadn’t had Number One, then Number Two would’ve been bottle fed from day 3! After three months of this she got her first bottle. She had one top-up feed a day and this seemed to settle her a bit. But the nights were still hell, she would spend most of the night in my bed and would be almost constantly latched on I would just turn every half hour or so, taking her with me, plug her in to the other side, zombie. And at some point I’d just had enough. We were moving, I decided that I wasn’t go to breastfeed ANYONE in the new house. And she was going to share a room with her sister. And if she screamed, her Dad would go. There is no pretty photo of the last feed with her because it happened in the middle of the night. She woke up, the straw broke the camel’s back. I turned over and ignored her, she screamed, I said “sorry, not tonight or ever again”. And that was it.

We have later found out that she has a digestion problem. She also, like me, has a tendency towards asthma and allergies. I’m glad I breastfed her, I’m sure that I passed on loads of good things which have strengthened her body. This one is a case of: It was damn hard work but I’m glad I did it.